How some women sabotage their happily ever after
Feminists say, “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.” Yet the best selling category of fiction is romance and the largest demographic of romance buyers is middle-aged college-educated women. Romance fiction centers on the story of a growing relationship between a woman and a man and is required to end in a “happily ever after” scene. In pre-feminist days this invariably meant marriage or at least an accepted proposal. But why would this continue in popularity in spite of fifty years of feminist re-education?
And all that blather doesn’t seem to have even had much effect on the type of man desired either. Most romance “heroes” are not the typical weak, wimpy, emotional, “metrosexuals” the feminists who control our culture seem to desire men to be. They have much more in common with the dashing, testosterone-flushed alpha males we’re told are relics of a long gone, sexist age. They’re Fabio and Daniel Craig and Matthew McConaughey, not Woody Allen. The secret fantasy of romance readers is to be swept off their feet by men who are as much unlike a woman as possible. This is because that desire has nothing to do with education or ideology. Just as men are hard-wired to desire women, women are hard-wired to want a man of their own. No amount of feminist re-education seems to be able to change this.
The theme of one woman seeking true love with one man extends through human culture for thousands of years, everything from Romeo and Juliet to Anthony and Cleopatra to Paris and Helen of Troy. And not just in western civilization. Eighty percent of movies made in India’s Bollywood are romances. Even in the viciously misogynistic culture of Islam in which polygamy is legal, the vast majority of marriages are between one man and one woman.
I have a dear friend who believes that humans are not a pair-bonding species and that love between a man and a woman is inherently short-lived and fickle. He believes “happily ever after” is a futile dream and points to America’s 50% divorce rate as proof, even as some couples do remain together and happy for their whole lives. But that statistic is skewed. The majority of people involved in divorces are serial divorcers – people married multiple times where every marriage ends in divorce. If you look at the number of first marriages that do not result in divorce, the majority of marriages still last for a lifetime.
Back in the 1950s when divorce was more difficult, the divorce rate was half what it is now. The difference then was couples had to actually seek solutions to their problems rather than simply running from them. The truth is, the major cause of divorce is being heterosexual.
One of the key foundational beliefs of feminism is that anything a man can do, a woman can do better. It’s a form of anti-male bigotry. Men are just crude, brutish women who lack wombs. And if a woman is just like a man, only better, why indeed would a woman need a man? The trouble with this is it’s not true, and anybody who’s had dealings with the opposite sex knows it.
Women and men are different. Their thinking processes are different, their desires are different, and their reactions to situations are different. One very famous book even likened the sexes to inhabitants of entirely different planets. I think this is the key to understanding both why feminists believe women don’t need men (they don’t believe they are different) and why maintaining a happy marriage seems so difficult.
This is why the divorce rate for homosexual couples is half that of heterosexual couples. Homosexuals share the same desires and way of thinking. Hetero means “different.” Women and men are different, not just in their “plumbing” but their very hormones and way of thinking. For two such alien beings to share their lives successfully requires empathy and communication. But these days divorce doesn’t even require a lawyer. And while understanding what your partner wants or needs is difficult enough, more importantly, a successful happily ever after requires submission.
After seeing that word my feminist readers are about to explode. But before you go heat the tar and gather the feathers, understand I’m not speaking of a one-sided submission. Both sides have to submit to the other. It’s one thing to understand what your partner wants, and quite another to give it to them (or work out some compromise) when that doesn’t coincide with our own feelings. This is why when the Bible says (in every feminist’s favorite scripture passage) for wives to submit to their husbands, it also says FOUR TIMES in the same chapter that a man should love his wife, specifically to the point of being willing to die for her as Christ died for us. Submission goes both ways and the Bible actually holds men to a higher standard.
The Apostle Paul described love (in First Corinthians chapter 13) as longsuffering, kind, enduring, and hopeful, that it doesn’t seek it’s own way, and doesn’t envy others or exalt itself. Christ said (in John 15:13), “Greater love hath no man than one who lays down his life for his friends.” Selfishness is the opposite of love.
Ignorance and selfishness are the two great enemies of the happily ever after. Couples who have empathy for each other, and who submit to each other’s needs, even when they don’t understand why the other thinks the crazy way they do, will maintain their happily ever after. The ones who don’t won’t. Mutual anti-selfishness (love) is the basis of a successful happily ever after.
And unlike the modern Hollywood slogan, love does mean having to say you’re sorry. But it also means forgiveness. One-sided submission isn’t love; it’s slavery. But these days, rather than work out the inevitable problems inherent in their physical and psychological differences, couples just bail out as soon as they hit turbulence.
Achieving a happily ever after is relatively easy. Maintaining it for the rest of your life is not. It can be done. But only if each individual values the relationship more than their own selfish desires and only if both parties want to spend the effort to try to understand the other.
Ignorance and selfishness are the two great enemies of the happily ever after. Empathy and love are the antidotes. And the first step in empathy is to understand that other people’s needs, desires and feelings are just as valid as yours, even if they’re different. And men and women are very different.
Men understand women are not men. They understand from an early age that females are “crazy” and learn to work around that fact. A lot of comedy bits revolve around this idea. Men don’t try to make women think like men. They understand there’s a fundamental difference. But many modern women operate as if their own way of thinking is “normal” and that any male who doesn’t think that way is somehow deviant, despite that half the population thinks that same way.
Women would be outraged if society required urinals in all public restrooms, yet it is unquestioned any man who leaves the toilet seat up is some sort of uncouth barbarian, an antisocial borderline criminal, even if it’s his toilet and the woman complaining is a visitor. It’s the feminist ideology that men and women are interchangeable that leads to this thinking and is directly responsible for why many women sabotage their own happily ever after.
Two thirds of divorces are initiated by the woman. Among the college educated it’s 90%, demonstrating the power of feminist indoctrination. And of those divorces, abuse or infidelity seldom play a part on either side. Back in the 1950s women initiated only 60% of divorces, and the majority of those were due to abuse or infidelity. Today the woman has simply “outgrown her husband” or feels she no longer needs him. (Although they somehow do feel the need for his alimony and child support.)
Since people tend to blame others for their own failings (and this isn’t a male or female thing; it’s a human characteristic) most conclude their Ex had something wrong with him. He was selfish and kept acting “unreasonably” (i.e. “like a man.”)
Now, some people are jerks and do refuse to compromise. But it works both ways. There are just as many selfish bitches as inconsiderate bastards. We should expect to see as many divorces initiated by long-suffering men as patient wives. That 90% of divorces are now initiated by women demonstrates modern women have unreasonable expectations. They expect Martians to be Venusians. Many demand one-sided submission and become enraged every time the male doesn’t live up to their skewed expectations. They don’t understand they’re living on Earth where both sexes have to exercise empathy and compromise to maintain happiness with their alien spouse. Sorry to break it to you, ladies, but half the human race sees leaving the toilet seat up as a time-saving measure.
Not understanding the true cause of failure is a recipe for recreating it. It’s no wonder that people whose first marriage ends in divorce are more likely to have successive marriages end the same way. If you want a successful happily ever after, understand this one thing: they’re called the “opposite sex” for a reason.
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Thanks for Reading,
Celeste and Patricia